God, Where Are You?

Have you ever felt like God was nowhere to be found?  You look and look and yet it feels like you can't find him.  You look inside (in your heart), you look outside.  You know the Bible says "And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20).  But yet it seems like He has moved to the next galaxy?  Why does God seem to run away from us?  Is He lying when he says He will never leave us?

Lately I have been having a few of these experiences that it feels like God is nowhere to be found.  It feels lonely.  It feels like I am abandoned.  Today was another of those days.  I could tell God was there, my physical senses could feel Him, but my heart, spirit, and mind could not seem to find Him.  It seemed He had decided to take up residence in another place.  But today I got bold.  I asked God where he was and why I couldn't seem to sense His presence.  Immediately I get a response back that nearly dropped me to my knees and brought tears to my eyes.  I heard God clearly say "I am here, you can't sense my presence or feel me because I am so close to you that you cannot see Me."  He was there, hiding in plain sight; hiding in me, and around me.  It was a comfort to know.  From that moment on it seemed God became clear again.  I so much needed to know He was there.  I so needed to hear His still small voice. 

But what these experiences have done for me was to give me a greater passion to pursue Him even when I can't 'feel' Him.  My heart burns to know him more, and those moments (or days) when it feels He isn't to be found drives me to pursue Him even harder.  My heart desires to know Him even more.  I know it may sound strange, but the more I seek Him the more real He is when I find Him. 

We so often think that God is only there if we can sense Him with our senses.  As a Pentecostal, it is easy to know when God comes near.  There is a tangible feeling.  Sometimes that feeling gives way to a physical reaction.  It may bring tears, it may force me to my knees, or cause me to shake, or even fall under the weight of His presence. There can be a danger in allowing the physical way we respond to God dictate to our soul and spirit where God is a is not.  We need to learn that God also comes to us in quiet ways, sometimes even invisible ways.  So do not get caught up in the physical responses or reactions.  Just because our physical senses do not seem to feel God does not mean He is not there.  It may be that He wants you to pursue Him.  Just like in a romantic relationship, to make it work and be worth it, both man and woman must pursue each other.  Sometimes it is done together, and sometimes the man pursues the woman and she tries to get away, and sometimes it's the woman pursuing the man.  In either of these situations it requires a pursuing.  God made us and desires to be in relationship with us and sometimes He is the pursuer and other times He 'hides' to see how serious we are about our relationship with Him so that we either forget Him or seek Him.  God wants to be pursued by us just as much as we want God to pursue us.  So when you feel that moment or day or week or year when God seems distant, seek after Him.  He is never far away and is often hiding in plain sight.  He loves us so passionately that He will never leave us alone, never turn His back on us.  You can never do anything that will stop Him from loving you.  Over and over the scriptures say He desires to gather us to Himself, but we have to be willing.  So I say to you be willing.  Let Him draw you to Him. The way He may do that is to 'withdraw' from you to fuel your passion and desire for Him.

Father, for those people reading this that cannot seem to find you and they feel like you have abandoned them, I ask that you do not stop calling to them.  I ask that you would show your face to them as they pursue You, as they go after You with all that they have.  As they pursue You Father, I ask that You would open their eyes to see that You are also pursuing them and You have not let them go.  When they ask where You are, I ask that that cry in their heart would serve to propel them to seek after you like never before, that they would have a burning desire in their spirit to seek You and to find You wherever You may be found.  Do not stop pursuing us oh God.  Pull us ever closer to your heart.

The Idolatry and Adultry Connection

Have you ever stopped to think about the difference between idolatry and adultery?  You may think they are not even in the same ball park.  You might think one is worshipping something other than God and the other cheating on your spouse.  They seem at first look to be very different.  But if you take a closer look they are very similar.  Psalm 106:34-40 says "Israel failed to destroy the nations in the land, as the LORD had told them to. Instead, they mingled among the pagans and adopted their evil customs. They worshiped their idols, and this led to their downfall. They even sacrificed their sons and their daughters to the demons. They shed innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters. By sacrificing them to the idols of Canaan, they polluted the land with murder.  They defiled themselves by their evil deeds, and their love of idols was adultery in the LORD's sight.  That is why the LORD's anger burned against his people, and he abhorred his own special possession."

So what is the similarity you may ask?  They both are taking the love and devotion meant for one, and given to another.  Idolatry is taking the love and adoration that is God's and God's alone and given to something else such as a piece of wood, metal, or stone, or to another object such as an animal, money, job, car, etc.  God and God alone should be the only place we direct our worship.  When we direct it to something else, it is idolatry.  Adultery is taking the love and affection meant for one's spouse and given to another person.  If you are giving that love and affection through an affair, you are not properly giving it to your spouse.  You may think you can, but you are not.  When God calls the love for idols adultery, then they are the same root cause. 

We were made to worship God and God alone.  And when once we are married, we are to love, honor, and cherish our spouse alone.  When we give it to another, God becomes angry with us (see verse above) just as a spouse burns with anger and jealousy when their partner commits adultery. 

Paul tells us that we are to love our spouse as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5).  That is a tall order, but if God didn't think we could do it, then He wouldn't have asked.  God asked us to worship Him and Him alone (Exodus 20:4-5). 

The roots of both are the same, a wandering heart.  I can just hear your argument "But I can't help it."  Yes you can.  When your heart truly belongs to God, and to your spouse, it will not wander.  If you keep any part for yourself, it will wander and take the rest with it.  How can you keep your way pure?  How can you keep this root from developing in your life?  The answer can be found in Psalm 119:9: "How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word and following its rules."  And if you don't know how to do this James1:5 tells us: "If you need wisdom -- if you want to know what God wants you to do -- ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking."

So what's the bottom line? Keep your heart and mind pure and keep your affections and worship in check, that way you will not be guilty of giving away your worship or adoration to any other than the one it was meant to go to, that being God and your spouse only. 

Psalm 51:5-13 would an excellent example of a prayer to model your prayer life after "For I was born a sinner -- yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.  Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me -- now let me rejoice. Don't keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.  Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you."