God, Where Are You?

Have you ever felt like God was nowhere to be found?  You look and look and yet it feels like you can't find him.  You look inside (in your heart), you look outside.  You know the Bible says "And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20).  But yet it seems like He has moved to the next galaxy?  Why does God seem to run away from us?  Is He lying when he says He will never leave us?

Lately I have been having a few of these experiences that it feels like God is nowhere to be found.  It feels lonely.  It feels like I am abandoned.  Today was another of those days.  I could tell God was there, my physical senses could feel Him, but my heart, spirit, and mind could not seem to find Him.  It seemed He had decided to take up residence in another place.  But today I got bold.  I asked God where he was and why I couldn't seem to sense His presence.  Immediately I get a response back that nearly dropped me to my knees and brought tears to my eyes.  I heard God clearly say "I am here, you can't sense my presence or feel me because I am so close to you that you cannot see Me."  He was there, hiding in plain sight; hiding in me, and around me.  It was a comfort to know.  From that moment on it seemed God became clear again.  I so much needed to know He was there.  I so needed to hear His still small voice. 

But what these experiences have done for me was to give me a greater passion to pursue Him even when I can't 'feel' Him.  My heart burns to know him more, and those moments (or days) when it feels He isn't to be found drives me to pursue Him even harder.  My heart desires to know Him even more.  I know it may sound strange, but the more I seek Him the more real He is when I find Him. 

We so often think that God is only there if we can sense Him with our senses.  As a Pentecostal, it is easy to know when God comes near.  There is a tangible feeling.  Sometimes that feeling gives way to a physical reaction.  It may bring tears, it may force me to my knees, or cause me to shake, or even fall under the weight of His presence. There can be a danger in allowing the physical way we respond to God dictate to our soul and spirit where God is a is not.  We need to learn that God also comes to us in quiet ways, sometimes even invisible ways.  So do not get caught up in the physical responses or reactions.  Just because our physical senses do not seem to feel God does not mean He is not there.  It may be that He wants you to pursue Him.  Just like in a romantic relationship, to make it work and be worth it, both man and woman must pursue each other.  Sometimes it is done together, and sometimes the man pursues the woman and she tries to get away, and sometimes it's the woman pursuing the man.  In either of these situations it requires a pursuing.  God made us and desires to be in relationship with us and sometimes He is the pursuer and other times He 'hides' to see how serious we are about our relationship with Him so that we either forget Him or seek Him.  God wants to be pursued by us just as much as we want God to pursue us.  So when you feel that moment or day or week or year when God seems distant, seek after Him.  He is never far away and is often hiding in plain sight.  He loves us so passionately that He will never leave us alone, never turn His back on us.  You can never do anything that will stop Him from loving you.  Over and over the scriptures say He desires to gather us to Himself, but we have to be willing.  So I say to you be willing.  Let Him draw you to Him. The way He may do that is to 'withdraw' from you to fuel your passion and desire for Him.

Father, for those people reading this that cannot seem to find you and they feel like you have abandoned them, I ask that you do not stop calling to them.  I ask that you would show your face to them as they pursue You, as they go after You with all that they have.  As they pursue You Father, I ask that You would open their eyes to see that You are also pursuing them and You have not let them go.  When they ask where You are, I ask that that cry in their heart would serve to propel them to seek after you like never before, that they would have a burning desire in their spirit to seek You and to find You wherever You may be found.  Do not stop pursuing us oh God.  Pull us ever closer to your heart.